That’s What’s Up!
Too nervous to perform
Jeremy,
It’s good to be involved in sports at a young age. It sounds like you enjoy playing basketball, and you’re pretty confident in your skills (how you play the game).
When the parents are watching, you just have to zone them out and pretend like you’re at home or just practicing with your teammates. You will just have to tell yourself that you can do it, and get out there and do it.
There is a process called visualization. That means start to see yourself in your mind playing w/o being nervous. Visualize yourself playing just as well as you do with out all the parents or fans. There is another process called affirmations, and those are where you actually say things. You affirm or declare that something is the way that you’d like it to be. For example, in your situation you would say: I play basketball confidently.
Also with time you’ll get use to all the adults, and it’ll seem as if you’re playing at home with your friends, and nobody is watching. Or you will start to enjoy the crowds. Imagine scoring points and running down the court and seeing the fans in the stand holding a huge sign that says: Go Jeremy!
Controlling boyfriend controls friendships
Dear Teressa,
I have a boyfriend that doesn’t like any of my friends. He feels that they take away his time. We spend a lot of time together, and I enjoy my friends. He has it out for one particular friend that I have, because my friend is the opposite sex.
My friend and I have been friends for a long time, and we’ve helped each other out during some bad times. My boyfriend seems to think that we have some interest in each other sexually. That’s not the case!
My friend is aware of the problem, so recently he’s been going out of his way to be nice to my boyfriend. He can’t stand my boyfriend, but he’s been making efforts to include him. This is becoming too much work for my friend, and also putting a strain on our friendship. He resents the fact that he’s got to deal with my boyfriend.
On the other hand, my boyfriend is now fine with us being friends. Should we have to be forced to include my boyfriend in our friendship? Or is my boyfriend crazy and controlling? –Three’s Company
Three’s,
Apparently you have a controlling boyfriend. He doesn’t have to like any of your friends! That’s why they are YOUR friends, not his. He can’t expect you to spend ALL of your free time with him. He’s nuts if he is asking you to do that, and you’re nuts if you allow him to dictate to you who you can be friends with.
If a person cannot respect the decisions that you’ve made, and the people that you’ve chosen to have in your life, then why even bother associating yourself with him? Why try to have a relationship with someone that’s trying to get you to cut off all other relationships?
You should not have to subject yourself yet alone your friend to your boyfriend’s asinine behavior. Your friend should not have to “work” on being friends with someone that he doesn’t even like.
You should NOT be forced, or force your friend to deal with your immature boyfriend’s demands. Your boyfriend is not the crazy one. YOU are if you allow him to control you. –That’s What’s Up!
　
　
