Mike’s Musings – Just when you think it can’t get any colder, it does

February 28, 2014

I know you’re sick and tired of reading rants from this writer about winter, but you’re going to have to hear it one more time. It’s Wednesday Feb. 26, and as I get in my vehicle the thermometer registers -12 degrees. That’s actual temp- no wind chill is factored in. Spring supposedly is right around the corner, (it is March for chrissake) yet we are still 44 degrees below freezing.

Weather guys, oh yeah I’m suppose to call them meteorologists, tell me we are in the midst of another polar vortex. Who the heck came up with this terminology. I equate the word “vortex” with the beer, Miller Lite, which uses the word in describing their new bottle. I’ve never heard it to describe frigid weather, but then I never heard the term “global warming” until Al Gore started tossing it around a few years ago.

Just thinking, but global warming isn’t being talked about much these days. The polar vortex has kind of taken care of that situation for the time being…….

Oh sorry to break away in mid-thought but I  just received an important text from the State Police and Director of Homeland Security.  Guess what? Temperatures are expected to be at -20 wind chill through Sunday. Everyone, they say should only venture outside with extreme caution.

And tomorrow- Thursday, is going to be the coldest day of the year, with high winds bringing wind chills down to the -30 degree mark.  What the crapola? Now I got Homeland Security texting about mid-Michigan weather conditions. No I look again- it’s Detroit area weather conditions. So what can we expect up here? Jeez I need a vacation to a warmer clime? How about the North Pole?

A warmer climate would certainly help my poor, cold jalopy. I drive a 17-year-old vehicle and haven’t had to jump start it once this winter- knock on wood.  But the impatient individual I am, I hate to run out and start “the beast” before I take off. I just normally get in, turn the defrost on and take off. Half the time I don’t even bother to scrape the windows. That’s behavior left over from my twelve winters in Florida I guess.

That causes predicaments like the one I experienced this morning. About a ½ mile in to my drive, (I don’t have the best defroster), my windows began to frost and freeze up, making it virtually impossible to see any distance at all. This happens often but I usually have time to pull off to the side of the road and wait for the defroster to kick in.

Today, because of the extreme cold, that thin coating had covered every window inside the vehicle within seconds. I was virtually driving blind. Thank God, I made it into a stranger’s driveway without hitting anyone. Lesson learned- stop being so impatient, Mike. Let your car warm up before taking off.

And to think I was going to write about careless drivers, today. You know, the guy that whizzes by you going 80 in the left lane when all you can see is a thick layer of ice ahead. It happened to me again today. US 127 was one lane from Harrison to Clare. The outside lane was snow covered and looked treacherous.

The vehicles that were on the road early in the morning, were pretty much traveling single-file at about 50 mph. I was right there with them, although I might have been going slower, still fighting my defrost and foggy windows.

But Mr. Hotshot, in the SUV, must have been watching a rerun of last weekend’s Daytona 500, because he wasn’t going to be limited to 50 mph. I swear he came up behind me, flared to the outer lane and must have been doing 80 mph at least on the slick, snow covered pavement.

As a lot of us think, I’m hoping to pass him a couple of miles up the highway, stuck in the median. Of course that didn’t happen- does it ever?  But then again, I shouldn’t wish that on anyone. By the way, I almost forgot, part of that important text was to warn all The REVIEW readers, to exercise extreme caution when driving. State Police are expecting blizzard like conditions similar to last weekend when nearly 40-cars piled up on US-127 south of Mt. Pleasant.

The North Pole is sounding better all the time. I think I’ll start packing my bags.

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