Living in a dog’s world isn’t all bad

July 26, 2019

Mike Wilcox Editor/Publisher

Instead of controlling my pets, they control me. I live in a dog’s world and I really don’t seem to mind it.

My day starts at 4 a.m., when my three dogs- 2 female labs, and 1 male German Shepherd – awaken me from my dreams. Every day, 365 days a year, week day or weekend, the trio make sure I am up by 4. One lab whines incessantly, the other chimes in, and the Shepherd simply jumps on top of me. There’s no way I’m going to catch an additional half hour of sleep.

Of course I’m awakened as their servant to plod into to the garage and fill their food bowls with scrumptious dry dog food. For some reason they can’t do this on their own (actually the Shepherd can open the garage door and get in to the food bag), so they need me, their obedient servant to prepare their food to fill their tummies.

Once they are fed and let outside to explore the darkness, I can get down to my work day. Most of the time I work from home now and it is amazing how the dogs have adopted my routine. Did I say my routine? I don’t think so. The dogs alert me when it’s time for breakfast and lunch and also make sure I get breaks in between. If I don’t follow their lead, I have to listen to constant whining and barking. It’s just so much easier to do what they command.

In our household we can’t raise our voice. The few times my wife and I have had disagreements and allowed our arguments to reach a certain decibel level, the Shepherd will start to shake and pee on the floor. He apparently doesn’t like discord. No I take that back- he is very afraid of conflict. Whatever it may be we think twice before we start an argument.
On the flip side however, the Shepherd doesn’t like to see my wife and I show any type of affection. If I should hug or kiss my wife for more than a couple of seconds there is the Shepherd nudging between us to break up the act of affection. It’s worse if we are in bed. If we get too close, man’s best friend will jump up on to the bed and lay between us.

Of course dinner time is on a strict schedule as well. They must be fed at 5. It doesn’t matter whether I’ve finished my work or not. It doesn’t matter if my wife and I are in the middle of a project, the dogs must be fed, and they will bug the crap out of you until they are.

Who needs a watch? If you succumb to a dog’s life and follow their strict routine, you will always know what time it is. You will eat three meals a day, take breaks every couple of hours and go to bed (yes they force me to go to bed at the same time every night as well) early enough to be fresh and ready to begin our day at 4 (strike the fresh and ready).

Did I say I don’t mind this regimentation? Frankly, I don’t think I’d have it any other way. These three dogs are my best friends. They are always around. They lay beside me when I’m upset. They jump for joy when I’m excited. I can get angry- not too angry- and they won’t talk back. They will always protect me from unwanted intruders.

I couldn’t ask for better companions. Yeah the 4 a.m. is a bit much, but living in a dog’s world, beats having to deal with a bunch of humans that aren’t always friendly and can talk back.

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