The Family

August 29, 2014

Ray Augenstein

Ray Augenstein

I like to introduce the fast food family.

The head of this family is Harlan Sanders, commonly called Colonel Sanders, He recruited a flock of friends to help him get started. It took a lot of pulling feathers and striping down but finally he got it right, however much of the flock really got burned in the process.

Then along comes his first born named Ronald, now Ronald had a step-father, named McDonald and a sister named Wendy. The Colonel wanted Ronald to go in business with him but Ronald said that the Colonel was too chicken for him and He wanted to know where the beef was. Ronald wanted to do something big and with gold with arched gateways, instead of a bucket, so he decided to go into the sandwich business.

His little sister Wendy liked the Idea of a sandwich business but thought she could do it better. She didn’t need to make big arches to succeed, she figured that her Red Pigtails would be enough, besides Ronald was always too much of a Clown to have any business sense.

“You’re just going in circles with that ordinary round sandwich, so I think I’ll square off against you”, Wendy proclaimed. At first Wendy was floundering in the vast sea of ideas, until she met with her uncle Long John Silver, who was a sea Captain. He tried to sell her on the Idea that going nautical was the solution, but that was a little too fishy of an Idea for her. So Wendy would have none of that, however she did add a fish sandwich to her menu.

One day the family decided to have a Family reunion, so they rang the Taco bell, and gathered at their Cousin Bob’s so they could meet on neutral ground. Bob was so huge they called him Big Boy. While they were discussing business, along came Burger King and his wife Dairy Queen, and said that The White Castle would have been a better place to meet.

“Not on your Quizno’s”, they said. But Burger King was so bossy that they decided to get away from him. So they decided to get away from them by ducking into a Subway, and going to the Pizza Hut to meet.

“No way there’s not enough room in a hut”, Ronald proclaimed. “Come on everybody, let’s go to the Outback and Hide from Burger King and Dairy Queen”. They started to Rally their nerves and then along came PaPa John, You really don’t want to go to the Outback that’s too remote, and you could get lost there, you should go to the Ponderosa instead. My friend Little Caesar will meet you there, and if you run into trouble, the Cops and Doughnuts are right next door.

They explained their dilemma to the Cops and Doughnuts who then put a cease and desist order on Burger King and Dairy Queen and the Family went back to their own business places in peace, with just a little Arbys between them.


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