Tongue-in-cheek thoughts on guns, knives & pillows

March 1, 2018

Dear Editor,

I am so thankful for the education about guns killing people. Here I thought I knew about these things because I was raised in a family of hunters with a lot of guns and ammo. I have a gun.

You can be sure I will keep my gun in a safe place because I’m sure that if my gun knows I’m angry with someone it will leave its safe place all on its own and go kill the person I’m angry with.

And I sure won’t let it get outside the house because it may decide all on its own to go on a rampage and start killing people and then I’ll be arrested! That’s not fair because I’m not doing the killing it’s my gun doing the killing!

So that must account for knives, clubs, cars, etc. that kill people. Even pillows kill people when they press themselves over someone’s face. We’d better get rid of pillows. It never occurred to me they could be so dangerous.

I can see its time to turn all the convicted killers out of prisons, loose, because they are innocent. It’s the weapons that are guilty and need to be in weapons prisons.

I am interested in hearing all your personal stories about how all these different weapons got loose and killed someone you knew or were related to or went on a killing spree with their neighbor weapons killing many people.

We can’t blame the illegal immigrants either. Just because 78% are repeat criminals and are blamed for the people they kill – well that’s just wrong. Let’s get em out of prison and get those weapons in a safe place where we can protect people from them.

Why do we send our youngest and best men and women to be killed in wars. It’s the weapons that do the killing. Since weapons are the killers all on their own we just need to keep our men and women home and send weapons with the technology they need to kill the enemy.

Thanks again for warning me about weapons. But does that mean I have to get rid of the tools (weapons) I like to build with along with my gun? Maybe the sheriff would let me keep my tools and gun if I sign a paper promising to not let any of them get loose to go kill someone.

A Senior Citizen

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