Who said changing a light bulb was easy?

December 29, 2017

While many of us were opening gifts or enjoying a turkey or ham dinner with all the fixings, much of my Christmas was spent changing a light bulb, or should I

Mike Wilcox Editor/Publisher

Mike Wilcox

say trying to change two.

Yes, I rose from my comfortable bed on Christmas morning, had my cup of coffee, fed the dogs, ran on the stationary bike and then proceeded to take on a project that in my mind would take a half hour or so. I had a bulb out at the top of our ceiling in the kitchen, which is about 18 feet high and then one outside on our porch.

I decided to tackle the most difficult one, first. Now I had bought a pole-like gadget in the past with a suction cup on the end that extended long enough to allow me to  reach up the eighteen feet, affix the suction cup to the bottom of the light and then twist the light out of its socket. As you can well guess, it didn’t work.
I twisted and turned, and the light didn’t budge. Finally I twisted so much the suction cup attached by a screw, came loose and fell to the floor. Fortunately I had bought a second extender which actually had two suction cups.

Instead of standing on the floor I decided to grab a step ladder, place it on the counter and climb up three rungs so that I was only four feet from the light. I figured the risk I was taking by positioning a step ladder on a counter that was already four feet high was worth it, since I could place more leverage on the suction cup and surely I could twist it out of the socket now.

I was wrong. There I was teetering back and forth on the step ladder, precariously putting pressure on the extender to remove this stubborn light bulb. I stumbled once almost crashing to the floor. That was it- this light would have to wait to be changed another time. I wasn’t going to ruin my Christmas by having my wife rush me to the emergency room.

I now went to the porch. Most assuredly this light would be changed in a matter of a few minutes. On the second rung of the step ladder, I reached up to twist off the light with my left hand. Moments later several wasps came flying out with one stinging me on the back of the hand. Ouch did that hurt.

Undeterred however, and assuming all the wasps had left, I again reached up and attempted to unscrew the bulb. It seemed to be stuck. It would spin but would not come loose. Finally it spun so much the fixture fell to the ground and the light bulb burst in to a thousand pieces.

Now I was really getting upset. The bulb was busted and the metal base was still fastened securely in the socket. Trusty Google told me to round out the end of a potato and jam it in to the socket and turn. I did just that. I turned, I twisted to no avail. The metal base was stuck.

Thus two hours later, after attempting to change two light bulbs and failing miserably, I finally sat down to an awesome Christmas lunch. By this time, however my left hand,(my dominant hand) having been stung by a wasp had puffed up to twice its size, was rendered useless. All I could do the rest of the day was sit in my easy chair and lick my wounds.

What is the old saying? How many _______, does it take to change a light bulb? I’m here to tell you sometimes what seem like easy DIY projects, are the most difficult.

Happy New Year to you all. And wish me luck when I attempt to change the light bulbs again, next weekend. I’m determined to make it happen. It is my new year’s resolution.

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